10 THINGS THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPIER

My first book, HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS, has HAPPINESS as main theme. It is a theme people have been talking about forever and a state that seemed reserved only for the luckiest of us.  People are looking for happiness in the most interesting places and experiences while this is an internal state which can be present every day in our lives. The states we have are given by the neuro-chemical reactions in our brain and we are the ones who can decide what kind of reactions should take place in our magical internal lab.  After all, one of the most important conditions for happiness is to get inside yourself first and improve what you have there. Many are the things you can do to have a state of happiness and the most at hand are:

1. SMILE AND KEEP A STRAIGHT BODY POSTURE. When you smile, the brain releases serotonin and gives you a state of well-being instantly. At the same time, when you do that, you have the chance to see the good things you have around, because we cannot perceive reality in all its complexity, but we perceive it based on our internal map. If you smile and keep straight, you will rather see life's opportunities than its threats.

2. THE PEOPLE AROUND. Let us not forget that we are social creatures and being around others represents a source for a state of well-being. The secret is to surround ourselves with quality people who bring value to our lives. I have also learnt that people generally treat you the way you treat yourself and the ones around you mirror you to a certain point. That is why, it is important that you become the change you want to see in the world, as Mahatma Gandhi said, and the people around you will imitate you. Yet, this does not mean that if you spend your time with people who are negative, mean and who gossip, they will automatically change. It is important for you to make a selection of the people because the ones I have mentioned may throw at you the mud they have within their souls when you expect it the least.  

3. POSITIVE THINKING. The images you have in your mind about your life are the ones shaping your reality and represent action commands for your brain. The brain is built to perform mental orders. And as a secret, the unconscious mind does not read the negation, only the command itself, so even if you say "I do not want to get that wrong." or "I do not want to arrive late", "I do not want to postpone" or other similar negations, you risk doing those because this is what you are sending to your brain. It is extremely important to see the good part of things because this is how your brain will help you do the actions which will lead to your success and thus, you will have all reasons to be happy. 

4. CHILDREN. I consider that the happiest people are those who learnt to enjoy things and activities with the children's enthusiasm, to keep curious and to play, even if they are doing something serious. I may be a bit subjective here, because I am recharging my batteries from my little son or from my not so little teenage students. I do consider that people would have a lot to gain if they spent more time being present in the lives of their children or the children around them. 

5. THE PRESENT MOMENT. One of the most effective strategies to stop negative emotions, depression, anxiety or any negative element is to be present. When we are present in our lives, we release ourselves from the burden of the past and we focus on what we really have, namely the present moment, the now. Our concentration increases and a state of well-being will take us over, a state of calm happiness. I think that becoming present is the most at hand method to change our state into a positive one. 

6. WORK AND FULFILLING OUR GOALS. Happiness is, as Richard Bandler says, an adverb rather than a noun. You happily do things. You happily talk to your spouse, you happily work, you happily play with your child. It is a feeling related to action and in order to be happy, it is vital to have purposes and action. Work is important because it gives you the feeling of being valuable, do your job in the best way possible and you will get the most important kind of appreciation, your own! Always have objectives, smaller or bigger and fulfill them. Be perseverent in fulfilling your goals and you will be a LOT happier. Do not allow yourself the excuse not to take action because procrastination and lack of purpose are the greatest causes for unhappiness.

7. GRATITUDE. I know that in this world there are many rich people who are extremely unhappy. Unhappiness is closely related to a lack of  gratitude and satisfaction, the feeling that you do not have enough to be pleased (and I do not mean money here). The happiest people learnt to focus on the plus in their lives and while they feel good, they can obtain whatever they desire. The ones who observe lack send these signals to the brain which perceives them as a command of action and leads those to situations in which they only have reasons for discontent. It is important to see what we have, to be content, because the feeling of contentment unblocks the brain and allows it to think about other actions that could solve the unsatisfactory situations in our lives. (Discontent has a main source fear, and fear has the role to block the brain from doing the potentially dangerous actions for us).

8. FOOD AND EXERCISE. These two have an extremely important role in keeping a state of well-being. Make sure that you do not lack raw fruit and vegetables and eat breakfast to feel great from the beginning of the day. At the same time, it is important to move your body. Many people think of exercising only as being part of a clearly organised schedule. Yet, your slogan should be, as Paul McKenna nicely put it in his book "I can make you thin", LESS FOOD, MORE EXERCISE. I walk as often as I can, I go to the gym at least twice a week (I now swim a lot), I bought a stepper and use it for at least 2000 steps/day. There were moments when I took less exercise, others when I took more. The idea is that I do my best, and since I am flexible, I feel less frustrated. Physical exercise makes the brain release endorphins and serotonin, hormones which are vital for your feelings of happiness and balance. Move your body as much as you can and you'll feel happier.

9. YOUR HABITS. You are indeed the sum of your habits. The good news is that "we are the only known species able to programme itself" (Richard Bandler) so you can get new habits after 21-30 days of daily practice. A diary of progress, success and gratitude can change your focus from negative to positive. Waking up early in the morning, cleaning, exercise, breakfast, creative activities, the evening walk can become habits which will make you happier.

10. LOVE. The most powerful driver for happiness is represented by love. I am not talking only about the love between men and women (sometimes that is not even real love, but a feeling of possession), but the love towards everything around us. It is our decision to love or hate our job, colleagues, partner or relatives. And hate is a form of fear too... Love enables us to access our consciousness and creativity, to accomplish great things and make people happy, is that state that allows to do things without worrying that we would be criticised or not appreciated. Love is freedom and happiness! Only by loving will you be happy!

There are, of course, many ingredients for happiness, but I subjectively chose these ones.
What do you think? What makes you happy?

If you liked the article, you may like the chapters LOVE AND ROMANCE, OUR CHILDREN, OUR WORK and THE POWER OF THE PRESENT MOMENT  from my book HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS  

You can read the article in Romanian here: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/2013/01/10-lucruri-care-te-fac-fericit.html