WHEN LOVE DIES - HOW TO ACCEPT THE IDEA OF A BREAK-UP

I am convinced that at one point in my career of inspirational author (self-proclaimed, of course), I will write a book dealing with the theme of  the death of love between two people, and in this case, I am dealing with love in its more erotic sense and I do not have in mind the affectionate and respectful feelings that two people who were together should keep for each other.

In a way, this world is created on the principle of transformation, nothing lasts forever, and we are created as such  too. Realistically now, as Dr. Bandler put it, all love affairs end in tragedy. Whether they break-up, or one of them dies, they all come to an end. I like a quote I saw on Facebook which, paraphrased, would sound like that: never be sorry for a love story which ended, but be sorry if you haven't felt love at all. Since I had the "chance" to meet Death once, I realized how transitory is our existence and how unawares of this we live it, we do live it as if we were immortal, and at least under this form, we are not. And when love dies, instead of realizing our ephemerality, we are revolted. We are hoping that hatred will release us from the pain, yet it does nothing but fill us with fear and blocks. And those prevent us from living.

I used to live that kind of jealous love, exhausting and full of fear, followed by a separation hard to understand and with a lot of turmoil, I filled myself with hatred in order to accept the separation, but I know now that this is not a solution. 

If the partner leaves, whether they leave  for someone else or due to the arguments, it does not mean that you are not valuable. The society invented invisible chains, like marriage, this "love contract", so that we do not try to flee in case love deceases. Yet, love sometimes dies, and waving a contract over  its dead body will not bring it back to life, but it will get even worse due to the misery and pain the two  in case, and their children, go through in courts.

One important part of personal development is to learn, once and for all, that "people do not own people" and to give our partners freedom, even the freedom to choose someone else at one moment if this is what they feel. Personal development allows us to see in a separation not a tragedy, but a chance to reinvent, to get out of the comfort of a relationship which had become warm, and to see in the lesson of this end a warning that everything will end at one point in our lives.

A break-up comes with the promise of a new relationship, of a person we will be more compatible with. The world we live in is very dynamic, people separate more frequently, therefore, regardless your age, you have the chance to find a partner who may come more experimented and understanding.

It is very important not to allow the ending of the present relationship to traumatize, not to force the brain to make painful generalizations, because, I promise you, closer than you think, YOUR NEXT GREAT LOVE awaits for  you. The secret is that you be ready to live it!

If you liked my article, you may also find the next posts interesting: 
http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/01/nlp-techniques-for-dealing-with-past.html 
http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/07/10-things-that-will-make-you-happier.html

You may also like the chapters LOVE AND ROMANCE as well as DEALING WITH THE PAST from my book  HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS